I am beyond words, seriously. I'm not as much angry as I am saddened & disturbed. I'm not livid or furious, but rather hurt & moved to compassion. What am I talking about? An article I read in the News & Observer: http://www.newsobserver.com/news/story/1212170.html. Read also: http://www.newsobserver.com/news/immigration/story/1209646.html, http://www.newsobserver.com/news/immigration/story/1210712.html, http://www.newsobserver.com/152/story/1210484.html - apology from sheriff.
Would we really be okay with this kind of outrageous behavior if it were profiling African-Americans or White Americans? I don't think so! Yet because it is an ignorant & widely spread view that most Hispanic Americans are undocumented, we let it slide. Enough is Enough! It is not alright to speak this way of undocumented immigrants, regardless of their country of origin.
I am utterly appalled that this kind of subjective point of view is not only tolerated & published, but that it's okay for an ELECTED official to speak in such a way of a culture, ethnicity & nationality he obviously has no clue about. Is it ok to label Mexicans as "trashy"? Why? Is it ok to say that "they, Mexicans, breed like rabbits"? How is this ok? Have we really forgotten that we are all part of the human race? The U.S. is not the authority on being "American". The U.S. is the United States of America. What America you may ask? North, Central & South America. Which for those who have not taken a geography class, includes Mexico as a part of NORTH AMERICA, as are Canada & the U.S. By the way, some history while I'm at it, figure out who trespassed who's borders during the Mexican-American war. If Texas or other southwestern states were always part of the U.S. or were they formerly Mexico.
Why am I upset, saddened, hurt & moved to compassion? Because I am a proud U.S. born daughter of once undocumented immigrants. Yes, I said it! My parents at one time, like so many others, before I was born were undocumented citizens from South America residing in the U.S. Thankfully, that was not held against me nor against my siblings & not even against my children today. Today, both my parents are U.S. citizens.
I am not even of Mexican heritage, but I am Hispanic, a Latina, who loves her ethnicity, the
rolling sound of my "r's", the flavor of my perfectly seasoned food, the way the percussive beat of any music moves my soul, gives rhythym to my life & is the very beat of my heart. Why do I ingrain in my children that they are Hispanic Americans? Because it is what they are. They are growing up in the U.S. in a melting pot of perfectly mixed cultures, melodious sounds of our music & speech, fragrant aromas of our kitchen, calling their grandparents "abuelo y abuela", their aunts & uncles "tio y tia", their cousins "primos y primas" - speaking Spanglish. Because they cannot disguise their shade of melanin, as much as they'd like to try. Because they cannot mask who they are. Statistically speaking, my children will have lost their Hispanic roots by the time they have their own children. Something I already see because they don't even speak Spanish fluently. To say that as Hispanics or immigrants to the U.S. we are trying to take over the United States is a complete falsehood, if anything, we've adapted, acclimated & even forgotten our roots. Just ask most European Americans. How many Irish-Americans, German-Americans, French-Americans, still even hyphenate their ethnicity or disclose their ancestry? So, why are we so quick to criticize those who are 1st generation immigrants, like our parents & grandparents once were? Why do we want to close the doors that were once open for us? Because they're not good enough? Because I don't share your pigmentation? Because I have teddy-brown colored eyes? If anything, I look more like the indigenous people of this great land of North America than those who call themselves "American".
We are all children of one Living & Almighty God. A loving Creator who does not see the shade of skin, accent of our speech, but rather sees us as we truly are, spirits.
I am Jane, child of God, Christian woman, wife & mother, but still daughter of: Arbelaez Lopez........ proud of my heritage & the legacy I leave for my children of a loving God.
I am saddened, truly heart-broken, that in the name of God, liberty & country, we are able to commit such atrocities against humanity. Sounds like genocide all over again...........
Tuesday, September 9, 2008
Monday, September 1, 2008
been awhile.......
so, it's been a while - 6 months to be exact! so much has happened in the past 6 months, so i'll begin w/the news.
much to my dismay, i'm pregnant! how? oh, we all know how :-) but it was not in my or mike's plans to have any more kids. i mean we've got our hands full w/3 teenage sons. God's ways never cease to amaze me or leave me speechless.... yeah, yeah, that's a hard one to believe, me speechless!
once the initial shock wore off (it took about a month) and after seeing my baby's heart beating inside of me, i've got to say that i'm marveled @ how awesome God's creation is. what a wonderful Maker!
onto a quick catch up of the past 6 months: my oldest is 17 and a senior in high school. he is so full of life, such a kind person. i couldn't have asked for a more perfect oldest child. the 2nd one is now 15 1/2 & a sophomore. truly an incredible young man w/a maturity beyond his years & w/a charisma that is able to engage his peers. and the youngest, for now, is 13 and in 8th grade. he is such a gifted musician w/an eye for detail; not a lot can get past him.
this blog is about me & my life, so, here's what's been on my mind, heart & spirit, actually, one of my struggles:
parenting is one of those things that we can never be fully equipped for. no matter how many books you read, how many internet searches, how many you talk to, it's just not enough. i truly believe that mike's & my saving grace has been our Almighty & all knowing Father. i've never had a model or example to follow on this earth, but His, and i know that has been the key to my life as a mom. do i fail? YES! do i make mistakes? ALL THE TIME! does God know this? ABSOLUTELY! that's why i know that His Word is true, infallible & never-changing & it's the ONE thing i can always rely on.
my goal as a mom is just a simple one...... not that my sons have all the successes of this world, not that they achieve all their academic goals, not that they be world reknowned in their talents. i want my sons to have learned from their dad & i to obey God first & God will honor that; to love others - all people, especially those that aren't like them; to serve others b/c that's the way to serve Him.
would i love to have such a financial abundance where i can make all their dreams come true? SURE, they're wonderful & deserve that & so much more. but is that truly what will bring them real, palpable & genuine happiness? I DON'T BELIEVE SO. we get so caught up in this system's (the world's established system) that we lose touch with our reality. we are spirits first, created in God's image & likeness, that have a soul to reason, think & feel, and that live inside of a body - flesh. it's funny how quickly we forget that we are surrounded by a cloud of witnesses - spiritual witnesses. that's there more to this life than what we experience in our daily activities. we've forgotten about the things of substance & sustenance; that by which we should live.
as a parent, i sometimes forget that my sons are also my brothers in Christ & that i should treat them as such. mike & i were talking today & i told him that my approach to speaking w/the guys has changed b/c i want to speak to them the way God would. how has God reached out to me? has it been in a hurtful and mean way? has it been by yelling, by speaking down to me? not at all, even in my darkest hours, God always spoke to me gently, lovingly, kindly & softly whispering my name, in such a way that only i could hear Him. such a sweet voice that calmly soothed all my fears, quelled my anger, dispelled my insecurities. that's how i want to be w/my sons ---- to be that loving reflection of my heavenly Father.
so, yeah, i'd love to give my sons everything, but i can't. i wouldn't be honoring & obeying God if i did. that's what's most important to me. it means that sometimes our sons w/not understand, will even, perhaps be angry or upset, but so be it. i'd rather live my life honoring God & having Him be the center of my world, than my sons. i learned a very long time ago this truth, and it's a truth i like to live by, God's anointing destroy all yolks & lifts all burdens, that includes those ppl that we may even put on a pedestal & have them b/4 our God. i never want my sons or husband, for that matter, to be a yolk or burden in my walk w/God. i love them dearly, but God loves them even more than i ever could in my earthly ways.
i leave you w/this thought to ponder: what's on the pedestal of your heart? how are you speaking to your children? to your spouse? to your siblings? to your parents? are you honoring God in that?
xoxoxo, me
much to my dismay, i'm pregnant! how? oh, we all know how :-) but it was not in my or mike's plans to have any more kids. i mean we've got our hands full w/3 teenage sons. God's ways never cease to amaze me or leave me speechless.... yeah, yeah, that's a hard one to believe, me speechless!
once the initial shock wore off (it took about a month) and after seeing my baby's heart beating inside of me, i've got to say that i'm marveled @ how awesome God's creation is. what a wonderful Maker!
onto a quick catch up of the past 6 months: my oldest is 17 and a senior in high school. he is so full of life, such a kind person. i couldn't have asked for a more perfect oldest child. the 2nd one is now 15 1/2 & a sophomore. truly an incredible young man w/a maturity beyond his years & w/a charisma that is able to engage his peers. and the youngest, for now, is 13 and in 8th grade. he is such a gifted musician w/an eye for detail; not a lot can get past him.
this blog is about me & my life, so, here's what's been on my mind, heart & spirit, actually, one of my struggles:
parenting is one of those things that we can never be fully equipped for. no matter how many books you read, how many internet searches, how many you talk to, it's just not enough. i truly believe that mike's & my saving grace has been our Almighty & all knowing Father. i've never had a model or example to follow on this earth, but His, and i know that has been the key to my life as a mom. do i fail? YES! do i make mistakes? ALL THE TIME! does God know this? ABSOLUTELY! that's why i know that His Word is true, infallible & never-changing & it's the ONE thing i can always rely on.
my goal as a mom is just a simple one...... not that my sons have all the successes of this world, not that they achieve all their academic goals, not that they be world reknowned in their talents. i want my sons to have learned from their dad & i to obey God first & God will honor that; to love others - all people, especially those that aren't like them; to serve others b/c that's the way to serve Him.
would i love to have such a financial abundance where i can make all their dreams come true? SURE, they're wonderful & deserve that & so much more. but is that truly what will bring them real, palpable & genuine happiness? I DON'T BELIEVE SO. we get so caught up in this system's (the world's established system) that we lose touch with our reality. we are spirits first, created in God's image & likeness, that have a soul to reason, think & feel, and that live inside of a body - flesh. it's funny how quickly we forget that we are surrounded by a cloud of witnesses - spiritual witnesses. that's there more to this life than what we experience in our daily activities. we've forgotten about the things of substance & sustenance; that by which we should live.
as a parent, i sometimes forget that my sons are also my brothers in Christ & that i should treat them as such. mike & i were talking today & i told him that my approach to speaking w/the guys has changed b/c i want to speak to them the way God would. how has God reached out to me? has it been in a hurtful and mean way? has it been by yelling, by speaking down to me? not at all, even in my darkest hours, God always spoke to me gently, lovingly, kindly & softly whispering my name, in such a way that only i could hear Him. such a sweet voice that calmly soothed all my fears, quelled my anger, dispelled my insecurities. that's how i want to be w/my sons ---- to be that loving reflection of my heavenly Father.
so, yeah, i'd love to give my sons everything, but i can't. i wouldn't be honoring & obeying God if i did. that's what's most important to me. it means that sometimes our sons w/not understand, will even, perhaps be angry or upset, but so be it. i'd rather live my life honoring God & having Him be the center of my world, than my sons. i learned a very long time ago this truth, and it's a truth i like to live by, God's anointing destroy all yolks & lifts all burdens, that includes those ppl that we may even put on a pedestal & have them b/4 our God. i never want my sons or husband, for that matter, to be a yolk or burden in my walk w/God. i love them dearly, but God loves them even more than i ever could in my earthly ways.
i leave you w/this thought to ponder: what's on the pedestal of your heart? how are you speaking to your children? to your spouse? to your siblings? to your parents? are you honoring God in that?
xoxoxo, me
Saturday, March 1, 2008
In Miami.....
It's been a whirlwind of a week. Mike's aunt passed away on 2/20 & he was pretty sad b/c he wouldn't be able to travel to Miami for the memorial service (she was cremated). It was so difficult for me to have to tell Mike to just hold on b/c his grandmother & grandfather are very ill, as well, but I had to. I knew that Mike's family, especially his dad, would need us when the time came for grandma & grandpa to go home w/God.
So, we got a call Thursday night @ 8:20 that Mike's grandma had just passed away. Needless to say it was quite emotional. Mike's sister, Sonia, was crying hysterically into the phone. Our niece, Liz, was the same & Yese, our other niece, was calm, but then broke down. It was a no-brainer. We needed to travel down to Miami. Our family needed us & we needed them; plain & simple. Mike was pretty much in a daze & then began crying. That has got to be the most difficult thing for me to see. Mike is amazingly strong & has always been my rock, now it's my turn to be his.
Writing this is my outlet b/c I've got to be strong for Mike, who in turn has to be strong for his mom, dad, sisters & rest of the family. Yeah, we're all that tight & love each other dearly. We're a one of a kind family - dramatic, loud, boisterous, hilarious, funny, crazy & wild - but we are family & we love, embrace & support each other unconditionally. Being almost 900 miles away makes it that much harder.
Our sons, are just AWESOME!! Mike & I could not have asked for more caring sons. Mitch prayed w/us (Chris Moore was there, too. What a guy :-) ) & to hear him, was beautiful. God thank you for him. Mitch knew & understood that we needed to be a light & strong for the rest of the family. Matt is a sweetheart & so tender. Marc is wonderful.
So, we drove down Friday morning, got into Miami @ about 7:15pm (what traffic!!!!). Quickly changed into more presentable clothes & headed straight to the memorial service for Mike's aunt. I cooked for Mike's parents, sisters, aunts and his cousin this afternoon. His cousin, Yordelys (female), is still in a state of shock. Her mom, a single mom, just passed away after battling lung & brain cancer for the past 10 months & she was the primary caregiver. Now, her grandmother passes away.
We haven't told Mike's grandfather yet that his wife passed away. He was so emotional when he was told about his daughter, that his children don't think he can handle finding out about his wife just yet. I mean, he'll be turning 94 on 4/8 & was married to grandma for almost 71 years.
What I've been able to see throughout is God's hand & His perfect timing. Is it difficult to understand? Sure, sometimes it is. Is it easier to let sadness well up & overtake me? Sure, that would be the easiest. Is it God's will for me? No, I don't think so. Have I cried? Yes, I have. Will I miss Mike's grandmother? Absolutely. God knowing all of this made sure that we would be able to be here for the burial of both. I thank God for every day they both lived here on earth & thank God that they are with Him now. No longer suffering & enduring pain, but home.
At one time, there were 4 generations living in the same house. When Mike & I got married, he & his parents owned the house we lived in, so we split it & turned it into a duplex. Mike & I lived in the front half & started having our kids. His parents lived in the 2nd half & the grandparents had a cottage on the property. Now, I can look back @ all those memories & smile. Grandpa cutting the grass. Grandma always making me my favorite breakfast, because I was the only one that enjoyed it - it's like a bread pudding - it's called "harina" & has raisins in it. Not even her grandkids or great-grandkids liked it. Every time we'd travel back to Miami, she'd make some for me. She'd wrap it up in aluminum foil & whisper in my ear, "this is just for you. so don't tell anyone." I wasn't related by blood, but she loved me like one of her own granddaughters & i loved her like my own grandma.
It's difficult to see Mike's parents & his sisters crying & all the while knowing that we'll have to drive back home Monday afternoon. That's definitely the hardest. So, we're making the most of our 4 days here & spending it only w/family. We're not visiting friends or hanging out @ the mall or anything like that. We just want to be together w/our loved ones, because we need them as much as they need us.
See y'all soon!!!!
So, we got a call Thursday night @ 8:20 that Mike's grandma had just passed away. Needless to say it was quite emotional. Mike's sister, Sonia, was crying hysterically into the phone. Our niece, Liz, was the same & Yese, our other niece, was calm, but then broke down. It was a no-brainer. We needed to travel down to Miami. Our family needed us & we needed them; plain & simple. Mike was pretty much in a daze & then began crying. That has got to be the most difficult thing for me to see. Mike is amazingly strong & has always been my rock, now it's my turn to be his.
Writing this is my outlet b/c I've got to be strong for Mike, who in turn has to be strong for his mom, dad, sisters & rest of the family. Yeah, we're all that tight & love each other dearly. We're a one of a kind family - dramatic, loud, boisterous, hilarious, funny, crazy & wild - but we are family & we love, embrace & support each other unconditionally. Being almost 900 miles away makes it that much harder.
Our sons, are just AWESOME!! Mike & I could not have asked for more caring sons. Mitch prayed w/us (Chris Moore was there, too. What a guy :-) ) & to hear him, was beautiful. God thank you for him. Mitch knew & understood that we needed to be a light & strong for the rest of the family. Matt is a sweetheart & so tender. Marc is wonderful.
So, we drove down Friday morning, got into Miami @ about 7:15pm (what traffic!!!!). Quickly changed into more presentable clothes & headed straight to the memorial service for Mike's aunt. I cooked for Mike's parents, sisters, aunts and his cousin this afternoon. His cousin, Yordelys (female), is still in a state of shock. Her mom, a single mom, just passed away after battling lung & brain cancer for the past 10 months & she was the primary caregiver. Now, her grandmother passes away.
We haven't told Mike's grandfather yet that his wife passed away. He was so emotional when he was told about his daughter, that his children don't think he can handle finding out about his wife just yet. I mean, he'll be turning 94 on 4/8 & was married to grandma for almost 71 years.
What I've been able to see throughout is God's hand & His perfect timing. Is it difficult to understand? Sure, sometimes it is. Is it easier to let sadness well up & overtake me? Sure, that would be the easiest. Is it God's will for me? No, I don't think so. Have I cried? Yes, I have. Will I miss Mike's grandmother? Absolutely. God knowing all of this made sure that we would be able to be here for the burial of both. I thank God for every day they both lived here on earth & thank God that they are with Him now. No longer suffering & enduring pain, but home.
At one time, there were 4 generations living in the same house. When Mike & I got married, he & his parents owned the house we lived in, so we split it & turned it into a duplex. Mike & I lived in the front half & started having our kids. His parents lived in the 2nd half & the grandparents had a cottage on the property. Now, I can look back @ all those memories & smile. Grandpa cutting the grass. Grandma always making me my favorite breakfast, because I was the only one that enjoyed it - it's like a bread pudding - it's called "harina" & has raisins in it. Not even her grandkids or great-grandkids liked it. Every time we'd travel back to Miami, she'd make some for me. She'd wrap it up in aluminum foil & whisper in my ear, "this is just for you. so don't tell anyone." I wasn't related by blood, but she loved me like one of her own granddaughters & i loved her like my own grandma.
It's difficult to see Mike's parents & his sisters crying & all the while knowing that we'll have to drive back home Monday afternoon. That's definitely the hardest. So, we're making the most of our 4 days here & spending it only w/family. We're not visiting friends or hanging out @ the mall or anything like that. We just want to be together w/our loved ones, because we need them as much as they need us.
See y'all soon!!!!
Wednesday, February 20, 2008
W o W! It's been a long time......
So, it's been since, like July, about 7 months. I promised to try & post something @ least once a month, but I didn't come through :-( Oh, well.
A lot has happened in these 7 months. Let me recapitulate (yes, the word exists in the english language. i did not take it from spanglish :-P).
July - Mike went to Miami for the national NCLR conference & networked w/the big wigs! He also got to spend time w/his family & stay in an uber-chiq apartment w/a spectacular ocean view - for FREE! God is so awesome. Boys had a boring time, as usual!
August - Got ready for the boys to start school again & all of that lovely school supply shopping, of course, I was stressing, as always. I celebrated a birthday!!!!
September - Mitch started not feeling too well, fainting, dizziness. Made appts but were waiting for results. We went to Blowing Rock w/my dad, aka: abuelo ricardo. It was so beautiful. We were bummed b/c it was the same week-end as the SYATP rally w/Tree 63, but sometimes you just gotta make time for the family.
October - Mitch was increasingly feeling worse & we had to take him to a neurologist. Pretty much, the doctor thought it was one of 3 things (the 1st one being the one towards which he was leaning): seizures, cardiac arrythmia or migraines. So, Mike & I just took it in stride, knowing that all thing work for our good & that God would be glorified in it all. We ended October w/Mitch hospitalized. He fainted in school & felt complete numbness to the right side of his body. side note: He loved the attention he was getting from the family!
November - Mitch was in the hospital for 24 hours & it was determined that it wasn't seizures or a cardiac situation, but rather migraines caused by stress & anxiety that were causing his central nervous system to shut down (what a mouthful!). He began taking medicine for the migraines & stress. Mitch is very private & doesn't really like us to share to much, but sometimes it's necessary, especially when God's being glorified. Ok, now about our other 2 sons. Matt's enjoying chorus & was selected to participate in the All State Chorus in January 2008. Pretty huge, considering that only 9 spots were allotted to his school (some schools in the state are allowed to bring one student. it ranges from 1 - 9 students) & their chorus has about 180 students. Ellyse was also selected (Matt's girlfriend). Marc was on the honor roll, again. We surprised our family in Miami & showed up for Thanksgiving. Mercedes', Mike's mom, face was priceless. We attended our friends' son's wedding in Ocala. Pretty much, we drove 2000 miles in 4 days. Can anyone say CRAZY???
December - What a month! Mike celebrated his 40th b-day! What a guy!! Matt had his Winter Choral performance & of course, hammed it up. I was going crazy getting everything ready to go back to Miami for Christmas! Marc got his very long hair cut into a faux-hawk. God supplied & we were able to buy gifts for 30 people (this is just family). The 3 boys were invited to go to Winterfest @ Liberty for a New Year's Eve concert. So, we got back from Miami on a Saturday & shipped them off the following day. In the meantime, Matt & Ellyse celebrated their 7th month on the 29th. Mike & I spent New Year's eve without the boys for the first time in 17 years.
January - Matt celebrated his 15th b-day in California w/Ellyse & her mom, Diane. Ellyse, what a sweetheart, invited Matt out to San Diego as a birthday present. He got to visit LA & saw Wicked. Mitch has been doing awesome & we followed up w/a psychologist, with whom Mitch enjoys talking. Marc is doing well. He's grown a couple of inches in the past month. Jeans I bought @ Christmas for him, are getting shorter. Mike & I began Synergy @ C3, to possibly lead a connect group. We actually made the decision to go ahead & lead a connect group. We want to do what Chris & Alicia did for us. Mike & I invited Ellyse to go w/us to Miami during spring break. I hope Ellyse can handle the testosterone in the car for 12+ hours :-)
February - Mitch & Matt signed up & started hip-hop dance classes. I think this is great for them: exercise & brotherly bonding. Besides, I got a great deal on it - 2 for the price of 1. Mike & I gave Marc his birthday present early (2 months), an awesomely cool electric guitar. We purchased a digital camera all for Mitch. He's been enjoying taking photographs. He really has a great eye & knows how to compose a picture so well. We've had such a busy month, extremely busy. We had our 1st connect group meeting. God is so wonderful, b/c He selected everyone in our group. Man, do I love my sons. Such awesome guys who rarely complain about all the things Mike & I become involved in. In fact, they are so supportive. We couldn't have asked for better sons. Fuel conference was awesome! Revolution is coming up this week-end & I'm thankful my sons w/have the opportunity to share w/students in this special time w/God. Mitch is off the meds for the headaches & stress. He weaned himself off the meds & when we followed up w/the neurologist, he was happy. The doctor wanted to slowly take him off the meds, but Mitch did it on his own. Yay, Mitch! So, no more neurologist for now, but Mitch will continue w/the psychologist for now. He really enjoys his chats. Mike & I on the other hand, fall asleep on the soft couches & w/the classical music.....zzzzzzzzzzz
I've been thinking a lot about parenting. I guess, sometimes, as a mom, I act like I have all the answers. Little secret, I don't. No parent does, but God does. Yup, I've failed, numerous times, but God makes Himself known & strengthens me in my weakness! Hallelujah. So, what can I do when I make an empty promise, apologize to my kids for my shortcomings. Yes, parents make mistakes & boy, are we learning as we go. My sons are the most beautiful ministry I have. God has blessed me incredibly w/them. God has such awesomely amazing plans for them & Mike & I get to share this journey w/them & ride the ride. We give God & Him alone the glory for the privilege of guiding these young men. There's no greater joy for us to watch them fulfill God's purpose in their lives. When I see Matt leading worship, Marc playing alongside his brother & Mitch "lighting it up", I am blown away!! God, thank you for this great gift. Is it always perfect? Nope, hardly. Do we argue? Yup, all the time, sometimes more than once a day. Do we love, honor & respect each other? Absolutely, in the end, we realize that God made us a family not only because He wanted to, but He knew we'd thrive & grow w/one another & be better for it.
:-) signing off & making up for the lazy times.....
mama figs :-*
A lot has happened in these 7 months. Let me recapitulate (yes, the word exists in the english language. i did not take it from spanglish :-P).
July - Mike went to Miami for the national NCLR conference & networked w/the big wigs! He also got to spend time w/his family & stay in an uber-chiq apartment w/a spectacular ocean view - for FREE! God is so awesome. Boys had a boring time, as usual!
August - Got ready for the boys to start school again & all of that lovely school supply shopping, of course, I was stressing, as always. I celebrated a birthday!!!!
September - Mitch started not feeling too well, fainting, dizziness. Made appts but were waiting for results. We went to Blowing Rock w/my dad, aka: abuelo ricardo. It was so beautiful. We were bummed b/c it was the same week-end as the SYATP rally w/Tree 63, but sometimes you just gotta make time for the family.
October - Mitch was increasingly feeling worse & we had to take him to a neurologist. Pretty much, the doctor thought it was one of 3 things (the 1st one being the one towards which he was leaning): seizures, cardiac arrythmia or migraines. So, Mike & I just took it in stride, knowing that all thing work for our good & that God would be glorified in it all. We ended October w/Mitch hospitalized. He fainted in school & felt complete numbness to the right side of his body. side note: He loved the attention he was getting from the family!
November - Mitch was in the hospital for 24 hours & it was determined that it wasn't seizures or a cardiac situation, but rather migraines caused by stress & anxiety that were causing his central nervous system to shut down (what a mouthful!). He began taking medicine for the migraines & stress. Mitch is very private & doesn't really like us to share to much, but sometimes it's necessary, especially when God's being glorified. Ok, now about our other 2 sons. Matt's enjoying chorus & was selected to participate in the All State Chorus in January 2008. Pretty huge, considering that only 9 spots were allotted to his school (some schools in the state are allowed to bring one student. it ranges from 1 - 9 students) & their chorus has about 180 students. Ellyse was also selected (Matt's girlfriend). Marc was on the honor roll, again. We surprised our family in Miami & showed up for Thanksgiving. Mercedes', Mike's mom, face was priceless. We attended our friends' son's wedding in Ocala. Pretty much, we drove 2000 miles in 4 days. Can anyone say CRAZY???
December - What a month! Mike celebrated his 40th b-day! What a guy!! Matt had his Winter Choral performance & of course, hammed it up. I was going crazy getting everything ready to go back to Miami for Christmas! Marc got his very long hair cut into a faux-hawk. God supplied & we were able to buy gifts for 30 people (this is just family). The 3 boys were invited to go to Winterfest @ Liberty for a New Year's Eve concert. So, we got back from Miami on a Saturday & shipped them off the following day. In the meantime, Matt & Ellyse celebrated their 7th month on the 29th. Mike & I spent New Year's eve without the boys for the first time in 17 years.
January - Matt celebrated his 15th b-day in California w/Ellyse & her mom, Diane. Ellyse, what a sweetheart, invited Matt out to San Diego as a birthday present. He got to visit LA & saw Wicked. Mitch has been doing awesome & we followed up w/a psychologist, with whom Mitch enjoys talking. Marc is doing well. He's grown a couple of inches in the past month. Jeans I bought @ Christmas for him, are getting shorter. Mike & I began Synergy @ C3, to possibly lead a connect group. We actually made the decision to go ahead & lead a connect group. We want to do what Chris & Alicia did for us. Mike & I invited Ellyse to go w/us to Miami during spring break. I hope Ellyse can handle the testosterone in the car for 12+ hours :-)
February - Mitch & Matt signed up & started hip-hop dance classes. I think this is great for them: exercise & brotherly bonding. Besides, I got a great deal on it - 2 for the price of 1. Mike & I gave Marc his birthday present early (2 months), an awesomely cool electric guitar. We purchased a digital camera all for Mitch. He's been enjoying taking photographs. He really has a great eye & knows how to compose a picture so well. We've had such a busy month, extremely busy. We had our 1st connect group meeting. God is so wonderful, b/c He selected everyone in our group. Man, do I love my sons. Such awesome guys who rarely complain about all the things Mike & I become involved in. In fact, they are so supportive. We couldn't have asked for better sons. Fuel conference was awesome! Revolution is coming up this week-end & I'm thankful my sons w/have the opportunity to share w/students in this special time w/God. Mitch is off the meds for the headaches & stress. He weaned himself off the meds & when we followed up w/the neurologist, he was happy. The doctor wanted to slowly take him off the meds, but Mitch did it on his own. Yay, Mitch! So, no more neurologist for now, but Mitch will continue w/the psychologist for now. He really enjoys his chats. Mike & I on the other hand, fall asleep on the soft couches & w/the classical music.....zzzzzzzzzzz
I've been thinking a lot about parenting. I guess, sometimes, as a mom, I act like I have all the answers. Little secret, I don't. No parent does, but God does. Yup, I've failed, numerous times, but God makes Himself known & strengthens me in my weakness! Hallelujah. So, what can I do when I make an empty promise, apologize to my kids for my shortcomings. Yes, parents make mistakes & boy, are we learning as we go. My sons are the most beautiful ministry I have. God has blessed me incredibly w/them. God has such awesomely amazing plans for them & Mike & I get to share this journey w/them & ride the ride. We give God & Him alone the glory for the privilege of guiding these young men. There's no greater joy for us to watch them fulfill God's purpose in their lives. When I see Matt leading worship, Marc playing alongside his brother & Mitch "lighting it up", I am blown away!! God, thank you for this great gift. Is it always perfect? Nope, hardly. Do we argue? Yup, all the time, sometimes more than once a day. Do we love, honor & respect each other? Absolutely, in the end, we realize that God made us a family not only because He wanted to, but He knew we'd thrive & grow w/one another & be better for it.
:-) signing off & making up for the lazy times.....
mama figs :-*
Friday, July 13, 2007
Are you really OK?
so, i've been thinking about my post on 7/6 & some of the responses i received from my dear sisters. i got some e-mails & one phone call. the Holy Spirit is such a great comforter & advisor. i was glad to find out that God's been leading my sisters into new seasons in their lives.
my concern, though, is that why is it our human nature to sometimes not ask for help when we need it.
i speak from my own experience & things i'm going through @ this time. nothing terrible, it's just God molding me & me allowing this clay to be malleable. what i'm trying to say is, that for jane (that's me :-) ) it's been a matter of pride & independence to not ask for help & think i can do it alone; that only God's there for me. i've learned that even though God is always there for me & He comforts me with the Holy Spirit, He's also placed people in my life to play important roles. how hard is that for someone that's used to relying on only herself?
i'm so comforted in knowing that because God knows this about me, He cares so much for me & every single detail in my life & surrounds me with people that are just willing to step in without my asking. in conclusion, i believe that God made us to be connected to one another, to serve one another & to ask when we need help. it really is OK. that said, if you need anything, just ask & if i can, i will............
declaring you blessed & living a life out loud for HIM!!!!!!
my concern, though, is that why is it our human nature to sometimes not ask for help when we need it.
i speak from my own experience & things i'm going through @ this time. nothing terrible, it's just God molding me & me allowing this clay to be malleable. what i'm trying to say is, that for jane (that's me :-) ) it's been a matter of pride & independence to not ask for help & think i can do it alone; that only God's there for me. i've learned that even though God is always there for me & He comforts me with the Holy Spirit, He's also placed people in my life to play important roles. how hard is that for someone that's used to relying on only herself?
i'm so comforted in knowing that because God knows this about me, He cares so much for me & every single detail in my life & surrounds me with people that are just willing to step in without my asking. in conclusion, i believe that God made us to be connected to one another, to serve one another & to ask when we need help. it really is OK. that said, if you need anything, just ask & if i can, i will............
declaring you blessed & living a life out loud for HIM!!!!!!
Friday, July 6, 2007
It's been a while, glad you were there waiting!!!!
below is an e-mail i sent to some very dear & close sisters. women who have been my support, some for over 15 years, others for less, but a support indeed. i share this with whoever reads our blog because God did not intend for me to walk alone (ecclesiastes 4:9-12). not only did He bring my hubby, but He surrounds with me with people, at all stages of my life. i'm not a runner, Lord knows that, but i imagine it's like a marathon (running with the giants - by john maxwell). there are people all along the sidelines, cheering you on, giving you water, throwing you towels. that's what all my friends are to me. people that cheer me on, that see the best in me when i don't think it's even there. maybe you were meant to walk alone, but i sure wasn't & i thank God every day that He knew that & appointed the people to be on my sidelines. ENJOY!! :-)
i was beginning to think it was me, but i now know it's not. it never is about me or us, it's always about HIM. for the past few months, actually even before we visited south florida, i've had this stirring in my spirit. at first, i thought it was just my emotions getting the best of me b/c i truly miss all of you. you've been so much more than friends, sisters in Christ. you've all been placed by God to help guide & nurture me as i've grown. that's an irreplaceable & inexplicable kind of bond.
now it's my turn to do for you what you've done for me. i've just had this sense of urgency to reach out to all of you & see if there's anything i can do for you. but no one responds, despite countless messages & efforts. i've got no clue as to what's happening, but my spirit continuously awakens me @ odd hours of the night, reminds me of each of you & your families constantly through-out the day. i know this can only be the Holy Spirit because no one down there communicates with me, except for mike's sisters & parents, & they don't know you. we also share one God, one Spirit, one mind, one tongue, for we are HIS.
all i can share is what i've lived through myself in hopes that it will help. this past year, can you believe it! tomorrow will be one year, 7/7/07, since i left miami. thank you, janet & jose luis for letting stay in your house that last week.
anyway, back to what i was saying :-) ! in the past year, i've learned so much about God & myself. i've come to realize that God wants to take us to a place where He's the only One we rely on. that's so much easier said than done, at least it was for me. i mean, i thought i had it right. i spent quiet time with Him, sang to Him, served others in His name & yet i sometimes felt so far away from His will in my life. as God began to work our lives, He brought space between us & others. it's not a bad thing, it's a good thing when it's a God thing :-) [i made a little poem]
many times, God needs to take you to that mountain, valley or desert, so that your dependence is solely on Him. it's not easy, to say the least. many of us have already experienced small getaways with Him, but can i tell you that it's a whole different ball game when your family nucleus is going through it together. let me open my heart to you. many times, in my soul & mind, i reasoned & questioned. yet, gently God would whisper to my spirit & let me know that it would be alright; that we were in His will for our family.
i say this not to boast, because that's not God's intention. having walked through the valley, having been thirsty in the desert & standing atop the mountain of God, i can openly share the JOY that fills my life. my bond with mike is stronger than it ever has been (& it was strong before). our sons are just blossoming into men of God. i'm not talking about bible-thumbing, holy-rolling, always-professing. what i speak of is so much more than that. it's living a life out loud in the fruit of the Spirit. living in a continuous flow, dependent not on sparks of the anointing to give a momentary jolt but a direct connection that is your source of constant energy.
you are all dear to me & i will continue being persistent & persevering in prayer for each of you, because God says so. i will be here, reaching out to you. all you have to do is reach back. you have enriched my life in so many ways & so many times. i could write a book because there are so many stories, such a rich HIStory!
in closing, God has called each of you ladies to be leaders to other women, virtuous women in your homes & a support for one another. i leave you with the following scripture that one of our leaders @ church shared with us a few weeks ago. it's from a study in the maxwell leadership bible:
Proverbs 23:7-19
Leaders understand the importance of their minds to the future of their organizations. Consider some of the timeless principles offered in Proverbs 23 about our minds and a godly vision for tomorrow:
1. Your thoughts determine your character (v. 7)
2. Be careful of your thoughts; they may break into words at any time (v. 7)
3. Don't waste your thoughts on those who don't hunger for them (v. 9)
4. The first person you lead is you, and the first organ you master is your mind (v. 12)
5. Don't let your mind drift away from God's truth and into vain envy (v. 17)
6. Stay confident that your vision will come to pass (v. 18)
7. Discipline your thoughts to remain steadfast in what you know is right (v. 19)
love always, your friend & sister in Christ! ** someone, please pick up the phone!!!! ** :-*
:: jane ::
i was beginning to think it was me, but i now know it's not. it never is about me or us, it's always about HIM. for the past few months, actually even before we visited south florida, i've had this stirring in my spirit. at first, i thought it was just my emotions getting the best of me b/c i truly miss all of you. you've been so much more than friends, sisters in Christ. you've all been placed by God to help guide & nurture me as i've grown. that's an irreplaceable & inexplicable kind of bond.
now it's my turn to do for you what you've done for me. i've just had this sense of urgency to reach out to all of you & see if there's anything i can do for you. but no one responds, despite countless messages & efforts. i've got no clue as to what's happening, but my spirit continuously awakens me @ odd hours of the night, reminds me of each of you & your families constantly through-out the day. i know this can only be the Holy Spirit because no one down there communicates with me, except for mike's sisters & parents, & they don't know you. we also share one God, one Spirit, one mind, one tongue, for we are HIS.
all i can share is what i've lived through myself in hopes that it will help. this past year, can you believe it! tomorrow will be one year, 7/7/07, since i left miami. thank you, janet & jose luis for letting stay in your house that last week.
anyway, back to what i was saying :-) ! in the past year, i've learned so much about God & myself. i've come to realize that God wants to take us to a place where He's the only One we rely on. that's so much easier said than done, at least it was for me. i mean, i thought i had it right. i spent quiet time with Him, sang to Him, served others in His name & yet i sometimes felt so far away from His will in my life. as God began to work our lives, He brought space between us & others. it's not a bad thing, it's a good thing when it's a God thing :-) [i made a little poem]
many times, God needs to take you to that mountain, valley or desert, so that your dependence is solely on Him. it's not easy, to say the least. many of us have already experienced small getaways with Him, but can i tell you that it's a whole different ball game when your family nucleus is going through it together. let me open my heart to you. many times, in my soul & mind, i reasoned & questioned. yet, gently God would whisper to my spirit & let me know that it would be alright; that we were in His will for our family.
i say this not to boast, because that's not God's intention. having walked through the valley, having been thirsty in the desert & standing atop the mountain of God, i can openly share the JOY that fills my life. my bond with mike is stronger than it ever has been (& it was strong before). our sons are just blossoming into men of God. i'm not talking about bible-thumbing, holy-rolling, always-professing. what i speak of is so much more than that. it's living a life out loud in the fruit of the Spirit. living in a continuous flow, dependent not on sparks of the anointing to give a momentary jolt but a direct connection that is your source of constant energy.
you are all dear to me & i will continue being persistent & persevering in prayer for each of you, because God says so. i will be here, reaching out to you. all you have to do is reach back. you have enriched my life in so many ways & so many times. i could write a book because there are so many stories, such a rich HIStory!
in closing, God has called each of you ladies to be leaders to other women, virtuous women in your homes & a support for one another. i leave you with the following scripture that one of our leaders @ church shared with us a few weeks ago. it's from a study in the maxwell leadership bible:
Proverbs 23:7-19
Leaders understand the importance of their minds to the future of their organizations. Consider some of the timeless principles offered in Proverbs 23 about our minds and a godly vision for tomorrow:
1. Your thoughts determine your character (v. 7)
2. Be careful of your thoughts; they may break into words at any time (v. 7)
3. Don't waste your thoughts on those who don't hunger for them (v. 9)
4. The first person you lead is you, and the first organ you master is your mind (v. 12)
5. Don't let your mind drift away from God's truth and into vain envy (v. 17)
6. Stay confident that your vision will come to pass (v. 18)
7. Discipline your thoughts to remain steadfast in what you know is right (v. 19)
love always, your friend & sister in Christ! ** someone, please pick up the phone!!!! ** :-*
:: jane ::
Wednesday, May 9, 2007
What true power is
I recently had a discussion on "power". To my surprise 15 people gave different answers to what having power and its definition is. Some said power is a combination of achievements and personal material gains. Some said power and love are opposites. That when you love you don't want power and when you have power you lose love. I commented that I have true power. I can totally give love to one who doesn't deserve it according to their works. I need inner power to do this because part of me doesn't want to show them love. It is a battle to "Love your enemies". The conversation took me back to when one day i went to rent a movie. Jane and i had recently gotten married so she was with me. In the store i saw a person who before knowing Jesus Christ i had fought with. His "boys" jumped me and my "boys". I suffered a lot because of that day. We had known each other in elementary and were friends. We played baseball together but he went to a different middle and high school and we never saw each other until that day. In that moment i had a hurricane inside me waiting to explode. I felt every emotion all at one time, in a split second. He hadn't noticed me behind him. I walked up to him and tapped his shoulder. He jumped, startled in that moment. I was the last person he expected to see. I smiled as he gathered himself. I asked "remember when we played ball together?" He smiled back and said "Yeah". I told him to forget all that other stuff and he looked down ashamed of our last encounter. I then just talked about life to him and inquired how it was treating him. We talked. And i felt true power.
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